Ok, so most of you know me by now.. You know a little snapshot of what goes on in my life. In some instances you know more than some people who know me in real life. This is because you take the time to read, to chat and to talk to me. You take the time to comment on my blog, and you take the time in the most part just to read. For that I thank-you.
I am studying a bachelor of midwifery/nursing at university in Victoria, Australia. It is a double degree and it will take me 4 years. I am going to start my 2nd year in a couple of weeks, and I am looking forward to it. I like love uni. I know its not right, I know it’s a little weird that when I went to uni last year, I felt like I had come home.
I know that this is what I was born to do. Ever since I was a little girl I had a strange obssession passion for ANYthing medical. It doesn’t seem to matter how gory or gross it is. I LOVED it. There’s not much I can’t handle. Last night I went out for dinner with some friends, and we were well into a conversation about things which would turn most people’s stomachs before I even realize that my friends had stopped eating….
Sooo, anywho.. The whole point of this is to point out to you how much I live-and-breathe-and-can’t-wait-til-I’m-nursing! I just feel like its what I was meant to be.. As I grew older I learnt more and more and by the time I became a teenager, and knew more about it, I decided I wanted to become a midwife…
So here I am. I am studying a double degree in nursing/midwifery. And I plan to become the best damn nurse/midwife I can be! I know I will be good at it.. I know it is what I am born to do… I love everything about midwifery, and I truly believe I can change the face of midwifery. One day I will change the world.. You just watch it…
I guess my fears lie herein.. I was out and about a few weeks ago with some of the girls.. Just chatting and anyway, one of the girls brought up the fact that a well-known midwife in the area (not a very big town) had just had a baby, and had made some comments on the fact that breast-feeding is hard, and that going through the experience is so much more harrowing than she ever imagined. Now as I understand, said midwife has been errmm… shall we say a little harsh about how she practices. At times not actually practicing her profession with any sympathy or understanding. Instead (from what I understand) practicing in such a way that women felt alienated and alone. That women felt weak if they didn’t learn how to feed or learn how to look after their baby as well as they felt they needed to.
I guess I have no intention of behaving in this way.. But my fear is, that there seems to be such a strong emphasis on midwives and whether or not they have had their own children. I guess there is some element to this.. As in, some element as to the fact that yes.. It could be true that a person might have more understanding on said topic if they had experienced it.
But I like to think that I can still be the best midwife I can be.. Afterall, no-one would suggest that an oncology nurse should have had cancer in order to be a good nurse to oncology patients. I mean, yes.. I see the merit in the whole idea that if you have been through a particular experience that it may enhance your professional practice. But it isn’t the be-all and end-all… I mean, surely…?
I guess that’s the point.. I do know I will be the best midwife I can be. And everyday of my studying and working life I will continue to strive to be the best I can possibly be. I will become a sponge for information and I will do everything I can do to be the best I can be..
WOW! I have to add this in.. It was only through @Raznay pointing this out that it came to me that what I am trying to say here is: I know I have the gift.. But will anyone else believe it? I know it’s what I am good at…
I know exactly what you are saying. It’s the sane with me and teaching. As far as I’m concerned you just need to be confident within the answers you give to others. x
Thanks for being brave enough to share your fears with us!
I reckon you’ll be great at it honey, because the dedication and passion you put into everything you do makes me a *little* jealous. I’d love an ounce of the motivation and drive you have!
So, go get ’em tiger! And don’t forget, we’re always here to listen to your fears, freakouts and funtimes.
Nae. xx
Oh Emily, you will be wonderful! Your passion for helping others will shine through, and that is the best thing you could hope for.
I know what you mean. I remember one midwife told me in no uncertain terms to wake my baby every couple of hours for a feed. I decided not to (she was a big baby who was feeding well, hadn’t lost weight, etc.) and, when I told another midwife about my decision and the advice given to me, she said: ‘Yep, that’s textbook stuff and I would have said that before I had kids of my own too’.
What I’m getting at is that I think you can still be an amazing midwife… The most important thing is empathy and thinking outside the book. Oh, and talking ‘to’ parents rather than ‘at’ them. Not that I could imagine you doing that anyway!
Em you have the gift of helping people. You have the care and compassion, the heart and the stomach for it.
As long as you believe in yourself your amazing light will shine and those who will be lucky enough to have you as their nurse/midwife will know and will feel your ability. They will not doubt you. They will not doubt what you can do.
Believe Em. Believe in yourself.
Each and every birth is different. Having given birth yourself would not mean you had had the same experience as your birthing patients anyway.
You are going to experience hundreds/thousands of births.
I’m sure with your empathy and compassion you will give and take away something special from each one.
You will be a fantastic midwife Emily. You already are : )
what Angela said. definately. plus Emily, you have so much empathy – i cannot imagine you not trying a thousand different ways to make feeding easier for a woman, or birth itself, or get her help to look after herself if she needs it – you will spot these things in people because of who YOU are, and as a person you are the perfect midwife…passionate, driven, loving and empathetic – just what a Mum wants. π
Exactly! You are exactly right, you have the gift and I believe it…you know why? Because you do!
I had a bit of the same thing with teaching. I wasn’t a parent but I am good with kids, really good! Always have been.
I’m so happy for you! π
I think it’s the empathy thing. You may not have endured it (yet) but at least the sympathy and compassion are there, and you want to know how it feels. You will be a wonderful midwife. Mothers and fathers to be will be blessed to have you supporting them xxx
You are so caring and thoughtful that you will be wonderful! Really. Relax. You’re in the right profession.
You are going to be the best midwife, Em. Don’t worry about the non-believers. Trust me you’ll meet plenty of them along the way. As long as you know who you are. You’ll be just fine.XO
Oh, honey – you have such passion for doing this job, you could only be great at it. Add to that your warm and caring personality – BINGO! You’ll never be the kind of midwife that sometimes exist that has no real compassion. You’ve displayed that compassion so many, many times before on here, Twitter etc – it will be part of your make-up.
You’ll be great. I know it.
xxx
I’ve discovered recently that people have difficulty determining the difference between ASarcasticDad and AGeniuneDad (but it turns out AFunnyDad and AMisfiredDad are closely related, but I digress). The following should be read under the “Geniune” banner!
You’ll be great, even without kids. You’re obviously open to the thousands of different experiences Mums are going to have. Saying “you have to be a Mum to understand” is silly because it is only a single experience – it is impossible to have all the experiences of every Mum in a single birth. Except maybe the tiredness (oh the tiredness…) but in any case, I’d prefer a midwife who was reasonably well slept anyway!
As others have pointed out above – empathy is the key along with a willingness to encourage mothers to do what feels best. Sure, if waking every four hours is best practice tell Mums-to-be about it, but let ’em know the five alternatives and coping mechanisms and whatever. I’m sure you’ll be fantastic.
As long as you leave out the gory stories, of course. Saying “One Mum I saw ripped end to end, twelve stiches!” is probably NOT the best way to prepare Mums for childbirth. LOL.
As I have said to you before, I am a very big fan of a good midwife… no scrap that, a GREAT midwife. I owe so much to the midwives who guided me through the birth of my children. No obstetrician was even consulted or needed for Miss8, and for Master10 it was my midwife who gently guided my boy into the world, the ob was standing to the side.
One of the best midwives I ever met did not have children at the time. What she did have was empathy, compassion, calmness, knowledge and respect for the women in her care. I know you have these qualities in spades.
You will be one of the midwives people remember for all the right reasons.
Oh, and if my kids have anything other than a small graze, I’ll text you, me… I’m not so good with the gory! xxx
Holy heck! You write so well…I’m more than a tad envious.
Do not fret. I am totally confident you will be very very good at your job. For each three of my deliveries I had midwives who were about 3 months pregnant with their first child..freaky eh? ..and they were fantastic. You don’t need to experience these things to be good at it. Obviously some people are not naturals…and need that extra experience to work it all out. You are going to be just fine.
I love that you can put this all down on “paper”..love it. You amaze me, really.
*hug*
Hey Emily, I have something for you at my blog http://doireallywannablog.blogspot.com/2010/03/honest-scrap-award.html