will you be my valentine…?

I have decided on a different spin.. I wanna write on valentine’s and love-ish related stuffs… So I have decided to write something that might make you laugh…..

Last night I had my BFF over for a sleepover.. She is one of the most gorgeous-EST people’s I know!!! We go to uni together and we also go to the gym together.. we do an AWFUL lot of stuffs together… 😀 We are married, but without the touching!!! <— wait, don’t all married people complain there’s no touching? 😛

Anyhow.. This post is not about my real true valentine miss K and my totally platonic love for her, it’s about my love life or lack thereof.. Last night miss K came over… We had mojitos and had plans to finish a jigsaw puzzle on my bedroom floor… I know rockin’ it right?

Anyhow we decided for funs to sign up to a dating site and write a profile…. Best idea after a couple of mojito’s right? I mean, what can go wrong? Haha… Well fun it certainly was!! 😀

Here’s the profile….

About me:

Life is interesting with a prosthetic leg, but I am dancing like no-one is watching and I hope to God they’re not…. But it’s kinda like a car accident… Dancing with a prosthetic leg….. You kinda keep watching just to see if I fall over….. It’s ok if you laugh tho….

I love long walks on the beach, even better when I can’t feel my toes in the wet sand.. Quite convenient if you ask me…..
I am Batman’s sekrit lover, and spider-man’s disabled green goblin…
My iPhone and I are in a loving and committed relationship. We spend every waking moment in each other’s embrace.

I share my birthday with Pamela Anderson, but the only fake thing about me is my leg….
Also: I don’t like fun. I don’t like simple things. I like things to be really complicated. I like it when life is tough to handle, and I like digging holes so I can climb into them.
I don’t like to laugh so don’t even think about trying to make me….

It goes on to say…..What I’m looking for:

DO NOT WANT:
sleaze bags
smokers
You to try and get down my pants straight away…
Pics of your supposedly ripped body, you egotistical wan…
Please don’t tell me about ur manly assets, I am happy to discover them myself if and when I choose.

IDEALLY/HOT! (but seriously, if you have passed the ‘do not want’s, I’m sure you’re winning.. ha……..:)
Social drinker
Fit or sporty
Educated/witty
Generally happy person (I’m not your counselor or your mother..)
Someone with passion and drive for whatever is it they like to do
Self caring/self sufficent

wish I could just hit ctrl-F in life? Then again, wouldn’t it be good if we had a block option as well?

We had a few hits last night.. But I am of the opinion that when u sign up to a dating site, that the site themselves must pimp u out.. They seriously must be making sure you come up in all the searches… Cos as I said, a LOT of hits… Anyway, there was a guy who started chatting to us.. And true to what I expected… first thing he asked for was pics.. Having set up the profile only a minute ago, the site was holding pics pending approval by some I.T nerds I guess.. So first thing he asked for was pics… ummm.. I’m not giving u my contact details to send pics… NO!

The first guy’s profile was this: I’m an ***hole. I won’t open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door for laughs and giggles. I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat. And by the way, I’m a really messy eater. Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.

I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom, and yes they stink. I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. Look forward to it like you look forward to seeing your family after years of separation. I think you get the picture.

Also I don’t do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action, and I won’t sleep over (yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live).

1. HOBBIES – kicking puppies
2. ASPIRATIONS – finding a rich woman to take care of me
OK girls, waiting for your emails…go

We thought it was funny so we opened chat… He asked about hobbies, I said braiding my leg hair and shaping my moustache with my sideburns.. He asked me for pics, I asked him how many nipples he had. The conversation went like that… Anyway, at the end of all that… He still invited me to come over… The guy wasn’t even perturbed when I told him I had crabs that were oozing… I had to laugh tbh, cos it just goes to show, you can be yourself, or a the completely not.  Boys will be boys.. And it’s all a ride really….#NotAEuphemism

I will just hang on tight. And hopefully I don’t get dumped on v-day next year.. But if I do, I will shrug it off and keep on goin’ cos there’s nothing left to do but laugh right..? It’s all just another war story right..? 😛

 

 

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The gift is in the giving…

I know it’s cliche.. but it truly is in the giving… for me… Allow me to explain…..

I read a book by Gary Chapman a number of years ago.. As far as I understand he is a religious man? I don’t really know.. But I assume so. I mean.. My parents gave me the book to read. And I believe it is carried in Christian book shops. I am somewhat ambiguous to my christian upbringing sometimes. I mean, I was brought up to go to church and believe in God and all that… But what my personal thoughts and feelings on the topic are is not particularly relevant today… It’s not what I’m talking about…

What I AM talking about is this book. Basically, the book talks about people as speaking a love language. That is we communicate our love in a certain way. And as one would expect, we best understand love that is spoken to us in the language that we speak. What we do naturally as humans is to speak the love language we understand. According to the good doctor Chapman, there are 5 love languages. He states that while we might understand other languages that we are likely to dominate in one area. That is that one language is more likely to be our dominant method of love communication. The languages themselves are as follows:

1. Physical touch

2. Spending quality time

3. Acts of service

4. Giving of Gifts

5. Words of encouragement

Essentially the theory is that love can be communicated using these methods. And the idea is that most people will understand best the language that they speak. It is in this speaking of different “languages” that love can be misunderstood or misconstrued. And it can be helpful to know what your loved one’s speak in order to speak it to them. All sounds fairly logical huh?

I know that my brother and sisters speak different languages to me and I make it somewhat of a challenge to speak the language they speak TO them.. It feels completely unnatural to me. And I don’t always feel as though I have expressed any love to them. But it’s all in the way they receive it.

It’s why I like Christmas so much. It’s why I like birthdays so much. And Thursdays, and any day when I am allowed to give a present to someone… It’s how I express love. That’s ok right?

One thing I struggle with is when people don’t want to receive a gift from me, or they feel they need to give one in return…

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